Intricately entwined,
spinning thread
into a story yet
to be told.
Hoping for the playbook
with adventures
instead of answers.
Abandoning control of all
thoughts, ideas and
Free to experience, to honor
and take flight, the journey
of your soul.

The Flight


Escaping The Illusion Of Time

Yesterday while reading a social network post, I came across the sentiment “time is an illusion.” Coming up on a six month mark of being on mostly raw foods and a year mark of a cancer diagnosis, I had to pull off the side of the road today to write the thoughts that came whirling through my head randomly this morning. I also concluded that I would have to agree that “time is an illusion.” I don’t believe this because Einstein and Plato thought so, although I believe that Plato argued that it was life that was the illusion, but splitting hairs, really what is the difference? Why am I counting the time? Does it really matter?

Let me explain my thoughts on this a little further. We are taught to gauge everything by calendars, and clocks, days, months, years, seconds, minutes and hours. There is rarely a moment that goes by that we aren’t looking to see what time or what day it is. We are always anticipating the next thing or thinking about something in the past, whether it be a holiday, an anniversary, an appointment, a class, who walked the dog last, what we had for dinner yesterday, well you get the picture. It is very rarely that we are in the moment existing and breathing now, that is because that moment is fleeting and gone just like that. Everything we have experienced in the past and things we experience now and our thoughts of the future are carried forward in time. If this is so, what really constitutes time?

As an example: this moment, now, that I am typing is gone forever, it can never be captured again. You can read about it in your space of time, I can read it too, but is it really time or just the illusion of it. We can’t capture time relatively speaking. We can capture moments in time with words and pictures, thoughts and videos.

In conclusion we can’t escape the illusion of time. Our past is only a collection of memories and most of the time the memories we draw from are not terribly reliable. Our future consists of thoughts and projections of a present moment which can’t be experienced until the present. When we delve into our thoughts on the future the accuracy diminishes even more than the past. The illusion of what will be is that an illusion. Now we are left with the present that changes as fast as every keystroke in this document and every word you are reading now. The last word is the past, which one is the present? How many more words will be in the future? Are you still with me?

Time as we know it on our calendars and clocks must have been invented to calculate the ever-changing now and how fast it changes, but can it really be calculated accurately? Do we just believe this because we are told so? It is an interesting thought to ponder. You can study Einstein, Plato and other physicists on their theories of time and space. You will probably end up a little more confused about it. You may understand it a bit more too, but that is part of the illusion, which no matter how hard we try, we cannot escape.

I guess though without illusion of time there might be some chaos and a little less order.

Kind of ironic this is written the eve before a celebrated holiday… how timely!

Peace and Love to ALL!

Remember to be thankful for the illusion of time!



The Soul Connection Unveiled

My moony, soul sister Laura Oct. 2011

Time and distance won't make a difference when souls are connected.

I had a great conversation with a friend today about “soul mates.” This friend was introduced to me over the summer through another mutual friend and although we grew up in the same town we attended different high schools and didn’t really know each other back then. Since becoming friends, the friendship has become a mutual growth of trust, respect, love and certainly a soul connection.

It is my belief that we are here to have many soul connections and not just ONE “soul mate,” throughout our lifetime on this planet. When you open your mind and heart and become your authentic self and you drop the veils of obstinance, you allow another person a deep, karmic relationship that flourishes and feeds the soul. Allowing this light and energy in your life is an amazing thing.

The plurality of these connections doesn’t detract from any one of the relationships. Each one forms for its own purpose, whether it be to enlighten either person, kindred spirits on a similar journey, or a deep connection of love. The possibilities and reasons are endless.

In today’s society we tend to get bound up by “life” as others dictate what  it should be. We put walls up around us to protect our hearts and souls. In religion we are taught to trust God, but there are many who struggle with living by these convictions. I see and hear a lot of people talk about it, post about it, but when it comes down to it, they are still hanging on to the control in their lives. They still have their “walls” up and it blocks them from the good things that the promise they believe in has for them. This is not a judgement on my part, just an observation. Sometimes I just want to shout out LET GO!

When you can really let go, project love, live honestly, faults and all, and be humble and compassionate, the many gifts you receive in return will be overwhelming abundant.

As I told my friend this afternoon, I have many soul connections. I am grateful for each one of them. I love each one with my entire being. I feel so fortunate to come to this place in life where the veil is lifted and life is really what it is!

Love and Peace to all of you! Each and every one of you are a special gift in my life that I have the utmost respect and appreciation for!


I Hear You, Because I Listened

Lately I have practiced a lot of listening. Listening to others when they speak, listening to the sounds of nature, listening to my own internal voice…. just being still and listening. There is so much knowledge to gain when you are still and listen. We get so busy in life, with all of our stuff, we sometimes forget to connect to the rest of the world. One way to connect is by stopping, becoming still and taking time to listen. Listening is also the highest form of respect you can give another person.

I have made it a point to really listen to what people are saying in conversations. Sometimes I think we just get used to giving certain answers when conversing. Yes, uh huh, oh really, etc. seem to just come out when we aren’t fully listening to someone who is speaking to us. I am not sure if I do it because I am not interested  or I am just distracted, but when I find myself straying from the conversation, I have made an effort to pull myself back into the fold and listen with intent.

Nature is all around me, and I feel blessed to live in such a beautiful place. I have at times taken for granted the beauty that is around me. The beach and ocean is my favorite place to just go and relax, meditate, and write. I have made it a point to get there every day I can for almost four months now. The sounds you hear at the beach when you listen, can be interpreted as many things. People’s voices can bring joy and excitement at the spotting of a shark or birds feeding on bait fish. The sounds of the birds flying over or sitting just offshore can alert to bait fish in the immediate area, or if the seagulls are swarming, someone may have food out. The waves moving into the shore are my favorite though. The ocean is mighty and immense. The waves can go from sloshing to crashing. I am always awestruck by it all.

Take time today to stop and listen. Each moment we are given is for us to live and learn, to share and love. Give the biggest gift of love and respect, listen to others with interest and awareness. Listen to your own thoughts and reactions. When you listen with awareness it is easier to discern and let go. If you shut out the “noise” around you, you close yourself off from life, love and possibly your next revolution.



Superfluous Mad Silliness

Sometimes life catches us off guard and decides we are going to get all caught up in some moment of nonsense. It is at these times we need to step back and really take inventory of what it is we are doing. Thoughts are just that, thoughts. Most of the time our thoughts won’t change much that is going on in life, or the world, we have them, they are fluid and our reaction to them, is what it is, at that particular moment. Life is a funny thing, mad at best, at times. There is so much we want to control with what happens around us, but so much we are in so little control of. Being is not an easy state to be in, it takes  a constant state of awareness. Most of the time we are so unaware of our own actions because they become so automatic. It is only when we take the time to be conscious in every moment that we become aware of our own deficiencies and can work on improving living here, now, in this moment in time, being all that we are meant to be.

A Rawthentic Look At The Past Three Months

I am not exactly sure when I started being totally raw, but I know around the first of June the process started. I think it took about two weeks to wean off of the dairy and another three weeks after that to completely quit coffee…. I would have to go back and look at my posts, and I really don’t care. The point is, I haven’t had meat, dairy or coffee for a while now and I feel fantastic!

Every day I am more inspired and amazed by the people I come in contact with who are on the same journey or are adding more fresh foods to their diets or they are diving right in. I have to admit, this change wasn’t that hard for me, because I was pretty much a vegetarian to begin with. The first two weeks of weaning off of things were the biggest challenge I suppose, but as I got to each “next day” a natural flow of eating mostly raw things happened.  I did have a McDonald’s hamburger the third week coming home from the shop. I was hungry and hadn’t brought enough food. It made me sick for three hours after I got home. I even had a fever.  I don’t really have any cravings for “that food” any more. It is inconsequential.

The biggest surprise for me is my body’s transformation. I seriously had not gone to the beach in a few years, because I didn’t even want to put on a one piece swimsuit. I wouldn’t wear shorts, skirts, or dresses it is pretty pathetic actually. Those who know me, know I wasn’t “fat”, but they also know that over the past eight years I had put on a few pounds. Yes, I still wore a size 6 and carried the weight, but it was there. Before raw I was 163 lbs. I weighed less than that nine months pregnant with both of my boys! Today the scale hit 142. Pretty amazing because I wasn’t looking to lose any weight when I started this. I was all in it for health, to get nourishment to my body, all of my cells and to keep dis-ease away!!!! The weight loss has been the bonus! It has also made me feel younger and healthier and I have an abundance of energy! I love it!

Eating raw has also given me a new-found freedom. I don’t really stress over too much anymore. There is so little we are in control of and the things we think we want to have control of we probably should just be letting go of. Other than going through  a small of emotional detox, my mind is clearer  and sharper and my emotions have been pretty even keeled. Yes, every once in a while I will be walking the beach and I will have tears streaming down my face. I always stop and breathe and just let whatever is happening happen. I don’t try to analyze it, I just go with it.

The beach, as my friend Laura put it, has been my Mecca. Every day that I can get out there and get that dose of sun (vitamin D), sand, salt water, and ocean air, I do! I relax out there, I meditate there, I exercise, I converse with strangers, and when I am out there I write. Some days I have a lot to write, others I just write about what I see and what the day is like. I feel so much love at the beach. Nature is an awesome thing most of us take for granted in our busy lives. I am so glad I have rediscovered nature and all of its wonders.

I have to say the past three months have been some of the most life transforming I have had in a long time. They have been invigorating, enlightening and humbling. There are many things I think contributed to this, but after going through a cancer diagnosis, it was time to take charge of my health and get things right in my body, mind and soul. Some people may think this is radical and that I have gone bonkers. The proof is in the results, I will take my way of eating over the fast food, hormone injected, GMO world I once lived in, any day…. that way of eating may not seem radical, but to someone who has already had cancer, I see it as dangerous to my health.

On that note, we all have to decide what works for us, whether it be diet, belief system, career choice or anything else important or not. Having said that, we should also be accepting, loving and kind towards each other. At some point there has to be a sense of tolerance from people on all sides of issues. People have become so rigid in their views, opinions and beliefs, and this closes the door to love, peace and harmony. I would rather live peacefully, than bicker and argue all of the time.  Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I can’t love you, because I will. Will you do the same for me?

Peace and Love


Junk Drawer

The past few days I have been purging the kitchen cabinets and drawers, keeping only the things that are being used or that I love. I am taking my time doing this, and carefully placing everything back into a “place” of its own.

The exercise has been one of healing and letting go. There is only one thing that is in the same place as it was, and that is for now. The silverware stayed in the same drawer, other than that, everything else has a new home. My kitchen is a happy place again. I don’t have things falling out of the cabinets, I can find everything I need. Life is good!

During this process I freed up two drawers that were used as “junk” drawers, you know, the catch-all place for things you aren’t quite sure what to do with at the time, or you just don’t want to deal with it “right now.” Well for me it is all about being in the present moment. I don’t have time for a “junk” drawer anymore, let alone two. I did find however, that while going through the “stuff” in the junk drawers, there really wasn’t a whole lot to keep. What was salvageable were things that really had another home. The other stuff was just that stuff!

Here are a few items that were in my junk drawer: rubber bands, drill bits, screws, batteries, stickers, menus, post-it notes, the thingy-ma-bob that frees up the garbage disposal when it gets jammed, and a deck of cards with cards missing.

My point is, clearing out the junk and making room for things that we love, living with intention and not being passive in our actions, will help us all lead a simpler happy life.

Clear out the junk, free your time, free your mind! You, will thank YOU!



Today my thoughts focused on all of the things I was thankful for. It was a great exercise in remembering to live in the moment and make do with what is right in front of me. I have enough of everything I need, in fact, I have an abundance of some things I don’t.

I didn’t just focus on the things today, but the people in my life. I am so thankful for their friendships, companionships, and love. This raw food journey, for lack of better words right now, has been an amazing transformation of my mind, body and soul. Each day brings something new to the table, whether it is overcoming an obstacle that would have once been very difficult for me to overcome, to feeling the healthiest I have ever felt and my body getting stronger. My mind is clearer, my heart more open, and I am refreshed.

I jumped into this with both feet, but I started out slow. I started with green smoothies and took care to add new ingredients one at a time. I am now in the creative stage of my raw food preparation.. There is so much to learn, and I am amazed at what I have already retained in this short 2 months.

What came to mind most today was the abundance of love, support, self forgiveness and acceptance, friendship, companionship, knowledge, and health this lifestyle change has given me! I am so blessed!

Starting tomorrow I am going to do a watermelon fast/cleanse. I am planning on 2-3 days as long as my body allows it. I always listen to my body. I have great faith it will all be fine. So far I have had no adverse effects from my diet change! It has all been good. While I am doing my watermelon fast, I am going to work on going through the abundance within this house and figuring out what can be donated, kept or tossed.

Today I am thankful!


A Journey Revisited, but Still Relevant

These writings come from a crossroad in my life. I am not sure exactly what it was at the time, it just was. Each day we experience the choice to live in the present moment or worry about past or future conflicts . First thing in the morning, I try to be still in waking and make the choice to live for that day. Part of this ongoing process has led me to dig up some things I have written over the years and include them within this part of my journey. Would these be considered something of the past? Something to ponder, I suppose. I look it as the universe giving me a nudge in the right direction.

The Journey

 In the intricate
depths, mysteriously hiding,
Is the very person,
you are to become
Seeking life’s
momentous challenges,
opening up
the mesmerizing
whole, the sum.
The greatest obstacle you
face, is your own fear.
The gripping reality
of what living your life
Unlocking door, with keys
found all around,
in obscure places.
Senseless as it sometimes
Once on that journey
of faith and truth,
although anxious, you
may be awestruck
by the light.
Settle into living
life, and loving yourself.
Honestly assess the process.
Spread new wings and
keep your goals
in sight.
NJL 6-26-2001
Self Evaluation
The passion you have
Is only part of
what you were
positioned to
The inward you
isn’t for everyone else
to examine, judge,
and try to perceive.
Judge only yourself
through the
You may need
to modify
what you see.
Love all, “that,”
around you.
Only love,
can set your
soul and spirit
Don’t take
things so literal,
for time here is
not a perpetual
will work
wondrous miracles,
In your own life,
and that of others,
This is a
you can only make changes
for yourself
and your life’s calling.
Be keen,
own your responses,
Reacting to keep
others from falling.
NJL 6-28-2001


Serenity At The Beach

I couldn’t be more at peace than when I am at the beach. Surrounded by beauty and nature, the sounds, smells and sights are intoxicating to the soul. Three of the four elements are in one place, earth, air and water. If you want to stretch it you could make the sun the fire. Never the less, a day at the beach can reenergize your soul and uplift your spirit.

On my raw food journey, I have added going to the beach as often as I can. I think a lot can be learned communing with the elements in their purest form. So far, I have made it three days in a row. I am very blessed and extremely energized from my beach excursions. The beach lends itself to a place for mediation, exercise, socialization, and relaxation.

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